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Sunday, June 23, 2013

Just Breathe

     Isn't she cute?  Yes, she is very cute... But right now I am having to convince myself that while she is screaming in her room because she doesn't want to go to sleep, she is still that cute little munchkin that you see in the above picture. What is it about a tantruming baby that makes you want to pull your hair out? I never experienced this until I became a mom. It seems as though the time that she chooses to pull these fits is when I am trying to do something that requires a lot of concentration. She makes it very hard to concentrate when she is screaming at the top of her lungs and hyperventilating. I feel bad, I really do, but what am I suppose to do? I dont like to just let her scream and cry but at the same time, I know that if I go in and get her then she is going to think that if she tantrums that she will get what she wants every time. It does break my heart that she is going through this, but I need to teach her that when its bedtime, its bedtime.
     At the moment I am trying to upload some photos and write this blog, all while folding laundry and unwinding from the day. It was a fairly chill day today so not a whole lot of unwinding to be done, but I am a mother to an almost 9 month old and man, she keeps me on my toes. I find myself very overwhelmed most days and feeling as though there are not enough hours to complete everything that I'd like to. It doesn't help that my mind is all over the place with things I have to do, things that need to be fixed, keeping track of the little ones milestones, appointments that need to be made, appointments to go to, cleaning the house, paying the bills, making grocery lists, making dinner menus, etc. It is as though my day never really ends. One day just blends into the next it seems.
    I have come to the realization that I need a planner. Of course, my phone has an app for that but I think I need something that I can physically write in. I seem to remember things better if I take a pen and paper and write them down. Maybe then I wont feel so scatterbrained. Then again, its often the sound of my tantruming baby that causes a little bit of my scatterbrainedness. That is when I tell myself to "just breathe".  All I need to do is plop myself on the couch, take a few deep breaths and remind myself that this is all worth it. Yes, being a mommy is a good job to have and my daughter absolutely adores me. So when I am frustrated with her, feeling like I cant make it through the day (or night) I just need to simply take one good look at her picture, and my heart will melt...