Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Its Gonna Be Ok...

Today is Day One of being away from my hubby... Im trying to find words to say but right now I feel at a loss for words. Its funny because there is so much going on in my head but its all a jumble and I cant really put it all in order to write it all down. I hope this doesnt happen often.
I talked to my soldier a little while ago and he was leaving Germany. He has one more stop before he reaches his destination. I am so glad that I have been able to keep in contact on his way over there. It has helped me a lot and put my nerves at ease. I've been trying to keep busy today, doing laundry and keeping up with facebook off and on. I will probably do some vaccuming, take out the trash and clean the bathrooms and then take a shower and check the mail. I thought about going to the gym, but I think I will wait and start next week. Right now I just need to rest as much as I can.
Watching the one you love walk away from you is so traumatizing. They aren't dead, or dying... But it feels like a part of you dies inside when you cant be with the one you love. My heart is aching so bad, but at the same time I know I need to be strong for my soldier. He is so brave, and so selfless to be doing this for our country. With each minute that passes, its getting easier and easier, but I know that when I am reminded of him, I will feel that pain, that sadness... and it will get hard again.
Twelve months just seems so long. A whole year... A whole year of memory making that you can never get back. We can still make memories together, but its not the same. But, I have to make the best of it. As my sister Rebecca tells me, its a vacation. I dont have to worry about him playing video games instead of cuddling with me, I dont have to worry about him being on his phone all the time, I dont have to worry about washing his smelly socks and underwear... But at the same time, I will miss all of it... It will be ok though. I will be ok, he will be ok... We will get through this I just know it.

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